Handshakes, Hugs and Three Kisses

If you spend enough time in the Netherlands, you will notice that the Dutch have a very specific rhythm to greeting people. It is warm, friendly and often surprisingly physical, but it also follows an invisible logic. Once you understand it, everything suddenly makes sense.

The Handshake

The handshake is the national default. When you meet someone for the first time, whether it is a man, a woman or anyone in between, you greet them exactly the same way. A straightforward handshake, eye contact, and a small smile. That is it. No fuss, no extra gestures. Dutch equality means that everyone receives the same greeting regardless of gender or age.

In professional settings or when you are not sure how close you are, the handshake is the safest choice. It is respectful, neutral and clear.

The Three Kisses

Among friends and family, the Dutch often switch to the well known three cheek kisses. It sounds much more intimate than it actually is. These are not full kisses, just a gentle touch of cheeks accompanied by a soft kissing sound. The usual pattern is right cheek, left cheek, right cheek again.

This greeting is only for people you know well. You do not kiss strangers, acquaintances or people you have just been introduced to. You also do not offer it unless the relationship is clearly warm enough for it. If in doubt, wait. The Dutch will show you what they expect.

The important part: the gesture is the same regardless of gender. A man greeting a woman, a woman greeting a man, two women, two men, friends of any identity. The rule is based on closeness, not gender.