I am already brimming with enthusiasm and looking forward to his arrival on 2 June — but why? Playing “host with the most” is quite a lot of work, and accompanying someone on their first trip abroad is a considerable responsibility. But I can’t wait because I have a feeling that, just as India transformed me, the Netherlands might transform Gopi.
While travelling abroad is becoming increasingly accessible for a greater number of people, there were — and still are — some people who won’t cross a single border in their entire lives, simply because it’s too expensive. Gopi is (was) one of them. Being “trapped” at home, surrounded by the familiar, the comfortable, the known. His mindset is one of the comfort of always being at home, surrounded by the familiar, the comfortable, the known. But the shadow side of that is that one can also fall into fixed patterns of thinking and doing, and one’s vision can be limited by the confines of the customs, values, and norms of home. Going abroad is a way of breaking out of these thought patterns: one is confronted with other ways of being, other ways of thinking, new ways of seeing the world.
The Chai brewer
Travelling abroad can awaken empathy, too — so often, what we “know” about a place and its people is a combination of things we’ve heard, things we’ve read, all second- or third-hand impressions. Popular stereotypes also come into play, further colouring our view. But by travelling abroad, you have the opportunity to know a place through lived experience, which can change everything. Suddenly, “the Indian people” become my friend X, the chai brewer Y, my partner Z — they become individuals with rich lives, aspirations, and hardships. When that happens, all the distance between different countries seems to collapse, and we can see each other as brother and sister.
Leave the caste and class system at home for now
For Gopi, my wish for him is to experience equality, to know how it feels to live among equals.
While the caste system has been officially disbanded, a shadow version of it continues to influence the Indian social landscape. In India, working in a service position isn’t just your job — it’s who you are, and while Gopi has achieved significant upward mobility with THEY, he still carries around a “servant mentality”.
Through training him and bringing him up the ranks in the company, I had hoped he would take on some of those clichéd characteristics that are overused in resumés and job offers: “self-starter”, “highly motivated”, “detail-oriented”. I needed in him a loyal right-hand man, so to speak, someone who could take a little off my plate. But instead, like a servant, he waits for orders from me. He struggles with taking initiatives and prefers straight clear. Sometimes I almost feel like I am his assistant!
Walking the streets of Amsterdam, he won’t be defined by his class
This is why I want to bring him to Amsterdam: he’s not coming as Gopi my driver, or Gopi my employee — he’s just coming as Gopi. Walking the streets of Amsterdam, he won’t be defined by his class; he’ll just be an Indian guy on vacation. He’ll be like everyone else. We’ll grab a seat on a terrace and have lunch, which he rarely does in India. He’ll be able to enter shops, bars, and public spaces without coming under the glare of the rich as it happens in India — there, it’s obvious in which social class you belong. In the Netherlands, no one cares — we’re all just people enjoying a beer and some bitterballen on a sunny terrace together.
He’s not coming as Gopi my driver, or Gopi my employee — he’s just coming as Gopi.
Through this, I hope that Gopi will live the experience of being equal and that, when he returns to India, he can bring some of that feeling into his work life, understanding that he is an equal member of our team who can stand on his own two feet, take initiatives, and fully participate.
It’s not about showing him a ‘better’ life, but about expanding his horizons and discover what works for him. I want to open his eyes to other possibilities, other ways of thinking about the world, of thinking about himself and how he relates to others. I hope that here he’ll uncover new sides to himself that he couldn’t discover in India, that will help him further in his career.
Like a good Dutchman, I have planned his whole trip down to the letter: the agenda is sketched out, tickets are bought, reservations already made. And yet I know that, should things suddenly change, between his Indian roots and the flexibility I gained while living in India, I know we’ll make the best of it and have a great time no matter what.
